we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
