I wanna bring you to show and tell
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
