It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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