Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
