I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Is it penis luge time yet?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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