I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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