Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
