Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
