I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Randomize
