I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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