Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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