So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
