return my video game
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
