DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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