No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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