Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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