my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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