apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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