dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
