Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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