the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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