Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
