Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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