I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
