Whod you bang
even my farts smell like vagina
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
