hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
