he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
