You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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