ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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