it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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