I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
