To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
