Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
