Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
