Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
