Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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