just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
