I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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