We won't sleep together?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
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