It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
