we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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