im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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