I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
