i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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