Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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