happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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