so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
