Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize