You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
