Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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