There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
