Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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