i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
