She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
