Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
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It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
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You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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