Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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