I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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