Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
