chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
