Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just forgot I was standing up.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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