i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
