her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
