I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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