he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
