Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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