4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
